you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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