There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
