writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
