i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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