So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
