So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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