I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
