what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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