i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
