so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
