I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
