i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
