Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
