She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
