So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
