I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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