like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
