Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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