i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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