very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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