the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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