I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize