My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
