its not stalking. its research.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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