No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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