drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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