i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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