while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I could fuck to npr.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
