we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
