I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This baby is an asshole
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
