Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
