I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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