Can Purell be used as lube?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
