Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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