Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
