Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
