Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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