ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just took my morning after pill in the library
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
