ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
