Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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