2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
