i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
