IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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