I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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