Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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