ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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