please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize