Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
