At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
