Screwed.edu
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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