so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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