So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
