im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize