yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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