I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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