Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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