whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
