Just cropdusted the office
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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