you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
