So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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