its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
