I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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