the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
