its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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