Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
